Why I Left Teaching To Start Teaching

After almost ten years in the profession this teacher left teaching so that she could finally get time to teach. Here she reflects on the workload, the politics and the bittersweet ending to her career.

There is little sympathy for teachers: we have great holidays, a fair salary and, some may believe, shorter working hours than most. So why would I leave? When I was seventeen I stood in front of my then English Teacher and told her that I was going to go into teaching. I expected her to be thrilled. Instead she simply replied, “Don’t.” Like any rebellious teen I saw this as a challenge not a warning. So, with my mind made up I went to University.

I adored every day of the nightmare that was University. From 9am lectures where more than one of us were still in our pyjamas to night before essays that left me swearing next time I’d be more organised. I thirsted for every wonderfully confusing minute. I was learning something I loved: English. Literature was my life. I was surrounded by people more experienced than me whose brains I could pry open and search through. I studied Secondary Education alongside my subject and I loved that too. I was learning how to help other people understand English as it should be.

My first few years of teaching were something much different. I survived on the continual desire to show my pupils the mystery and the passion that English had to offer. I would be up till the early hours of every morning planning lessons that would surprise and test my classes. I wanted to meet every need of every learner. Sadly, no one told me that wasn’t possible.

Each year the budgets for teaching assistants, Support for Learning and English as a Foreign Language were cut. As a result, class sizes grew and subject specialist teachers were suddenly expected to speak multiple languages and differentiate work for pupils whose learning ages could vary from five to fifteen in a single class. I was no longer teaching English. I was treading water. 

Suddenly my classroom had stopped being a place for passion and exploration and had become a training ground for an exam. Mark, return, repeat. I’ve always been ruthlessly organised but this was stretching even my compulsive skills. I’ve always resented having to work on a Sunday but accepted that “that’s just teaching”: it’s all day, all night and all weekend. You do not and cannot leave your work behind. I’ve always known I couldn’t manage this pace until retirement but in 2017 I realised I couldn’t keep up this pace for another year. I became ill.

Depression is the disease of teachers. Every staffroom has the same story: eighty, tired, stressed people gripping their coffee cups and consoling each other. However, it is rarely the actions of their pupils that bring them to this place of suffering. Instead the stories are of e-mails that have not been opened, meetings where no action is taken, marking that is preventing sleeping and, unfortunately for some, managers who never stopped being the high school bully. In fact, our pupils are the only thing that brings a smile to the crowd. We swap stories of Wee Jimmy finally mastering his topic sentences and Wee Jeanie who brought us in homemade cookies. We smile because even the most monstrous of pupils is only a child and can be helped.

Sadly, for me, and many others, there was not enough time for the Wee Jeanies when I was struggling just to keep my head above the water of bureaucracy. I found myself almost ten years in and very unhappy. I just wanted to teach. 

That is where tutoring came in. No admin, no manager, manageable marking and, most importantly, a sole focus on teaching. The ability to take one pupil who is struggling on a journey and help them to see English in a new way. Helping pupils find passion, humour and excitement by creating learning opportunities that are as unique as the individual. Suddenly, I was excited again.

So here I am. A teacher who left teaching to teach. A teacher who priorities the individual and the creative. A teacher who wants to help you see English as it should be.